Every year, since 2012, I’ve been choosing an aspirational word to sum up my hopes for the coming year. I remembered picking perspective, art, and authority, but I couldn’t remember what my word was supposed to have been for 2015. Turns out it was relax, which made me laugh a little. This time last year I was, indeed, anticipating a lot of stress. The release of SHADOW SCALE, two book tours, writing a third book, and then we were trying to fix up our condo, sell it, and move. My choice seemed to be relax or spontaneously combust.
Somehow, I got through it all, plus a trip to Singapore, teaching a class and a workshop, first round revisions…
I’m in a different place this year, however — and I don’t just mean a different house (although that’s true too). This coming year feels stable and open, simultaneously, as if I’ve stepped off the roller coaster onto solid ground. I’m not complaining, believe me, but it has me thinking about how I want to go forward from here.
Every word I’ve chosen previously has been an inward-looking, navel-gazing, self-care word (even authority, although that might not be immediately evident to anyone but me). I’ve taken good care of myself, come back from a depression. I’m feeling really capable on that front. Maybe I don’t need to play defense all the time anymore. Maybe this year I can cast my gaze outward.
And so, my word of the year is going to be generosity. I still need to work out what form that’s going to take, but I’m envisioning it now as a kind of openness. I don’t need to keep myself to myself quite so tightly. I know where my boundaries are; I know what I have available to give, and how not to take things personally. There are a number of directions I could go.
Happy 2016, darlings. I hope it’s looking as open and possible to you.